Monday, April 30, 2007
Things seems to be picking up this year... At least I feel so... I finally got my PDL. I finally passed my BTT. Things are picking up again. (i Hope) There are a few more things I hope will work out
- Uni Sim application
- NIE application
- Quitting my stupid job (this one is a complicated issue)
- Diving*
I am feeling a little "sucky" now.. Irritated. If there is one thing I hate.. (hate is not a too strong word here) is .... People who NATO. (No Action Talk Only) I rather a person politely decline me then to say OK OK then expect me to do everything and in the end play me out. This entire 2 weeks have been filled with disappointment after disappointment. No one seem to be taking me seriously. Well I am fed up already. I see no reason why I should be waiting for others or depending on their decision to affect mine. I suddenly feel like how I felt during my 21st birthday. Is it cos I am so nice that people are taking me for a joy ride every time. Is it cause I tend to pretend it is ok so people dont take me seriously. Do I have to behave like everyone else and throw a tantrum to get things my way or to get people to take me seriously?
Posted by jasmine at 10:04 AM
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Monologue
(this could properly appear in another play i write.)
How much of problems can one take before you go insane? How long can I take things? 4 months into this year and this has
officially been the worst year ever for me . The skeletons in my closet are creeping up on me. One by one they start dancing around my mind reminding me what a bitch I have been, tormenting me about decisions I have made.
Yes I know I am not perfect. I know I have made mistakes. Can they all go away? If I close my eyes, just for a moment, when I open them will I realise that this is all a dream? Will I open my eyes to a beautiful scenary before me? Can something work right for me this year, just one thing, anything. I am not the most optimistic person now. Would I ever be optimistic again? Why do I blame myself so much for everything that happen? Would lamenting on my miserable life make anything better?
Nothing have been right of me this year. The first quater of 2007 have offically been the worst part of my life. I use to think that my secondary school days were bad. I honestly thought that my life as a struggling teen was bad. Suddenly, becoming a legal adult is worst. Can the rest of my year please work out fine? Can it, please, pretty please? If nothing else is going to work right this year for me, could I at least have just one day, one day when my skeletons take a day off and stop bothering me. I need to apply for leave. I need to apply for leave from this job called life. I need one day off from being me. I need just one day off from life. If nothing is going to work right for me for the rest of the year, could I at least have one day off from life... I am not even submitting my letter of resignation. I am only submitting a leave application. Please aprove it. I need a break.
Posted by jasmine at 7:52 AM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Here is a few question for you ladies out there. I was thinking abt these questions and I can't seem too find the answer.
- Which is worse, being and old single virgin lady or being a married woman who has a demanding husband?
- Which is worse, wanting to have kids but can't or not wanting to have kids but have one?
- Which is worse, reaching the big 40 and you are still single, desperate to get married but have a great career life or Reaching the bit 40 with a loving husband but regretting that you never put enough into your career
- Which is worse, staying a virgin and not knowing what an orgasm is or haveing multiple sex partners and properly get some STD?
- Which is worse, being a degree holder, holding a high paying job and only spending time with you children on weekends or being a degree holding full time house wife?
- Which is worse, being happily married to man 10 to 20 yrs your junior or being happily married to a man 10 to 20 yrs your senior?
- Which is worse, marrying some one who you feel obligated to or not getting married at all?
- Then this goes back to the first question, would you rather be an old virgin or an unhappily married woman?
I guess this all balls down to ones principles and aim in life. Who has a perfect life, who doesn't? I think a perfect life is created by the person and no one else. Being a woman is not easy. we're bitchy, irritable and some times we can "kill". But what makes a real woman?
I thought about that cos I know some ppl who are nearing the big 30/ 40 and are not married. Society seems to put so much pressure on them. I have a friend who go so upset cos her student's mum is her age. ?I know a real bitch who is very upset that she is not married until now. But which is worse, being happily married or getting married cos of duty?
Posted by jasmine at 2:43 PM
Monday, April 09, 2007
Had a super long weekend. After struggling for one week, I decided to take MC... YES AT LAST. I am having my "public holiday" today.
I'm having a super bad throat and a block nose. I had fever since yesterday but I didt know it until the doctor told me today. Lucky never go pet safari yesterday :D
Easter conference was the BOMB! The cast was super strong. Such strong ties and friendships have been forged. Guys I really love you all. Now lets all gear up for the year end play. WOOHOOO! BIGGER BETTER and MEANER :D
Photos ... coming up :D... stay tuned
Posted by jasmine at 9:06 AM