Friday, September 30, 2005

I was having a shower this morning and as I was showering I was thinking. I normally use my bath time to enjoy the warm water as well as clear my head. It dawned on me during my shower that I do not know what I want out of life. It was like a revelation of some sort, a wake up call.

I’m a 19 year old who is studying Law and Management in Temasek Polytechnic. I have a family who loves me, friends who are “losers” and a magnificent boyfriend. I spent my weekends at church and I do things like every normal 19 year old would do. (at least that is what I think). So my life is going to go on, I will have to grad from Poly and get a job, get a degree and start a family. What’s new? Isn’t that a life of a typical Singaporean? Isn’t that life in the safe zone?

What if I graduate, instead of getting my degree I become an actress, see my name in tabloids, have paparazzis take photos of me having one off flings with famous stars, fake a marriage or two, get divorce a few times, adopt children from 3rd world countries, pose nude for “charity”, get a few tattoos along the way and then remove it, become an NMP at the end of my career.. Yeah wouldn’t that be … DIFFERENT?

I wonder what would the end result of my life be if I took that route. “HMMM…”

Nah! I should just stay the same, boring me, boring Singaporean girl who listens to the government, good citizen, filial daughter and good girlfriend.
The ideal model of a Singaporean, an “asset” to society.

Isn’t that what we are all suppose to be?

Posted by jasmine at 10:53 AM

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Day 7 of my working life

I just saw something posted up in my school webbie. NAFA test for all year 3 students. 10 Dec. 715am at the Sports complex.


Damn! should i go for it ? Ok I know it may not be excactly the cleverest thing I could do. Waking up at 715 am, running 2.4 km, doing shutter run, standing board jump, incline flex arm .. ARE U INSANE?! who would want to do something like that.. Ok I admit, i have became lazy, i have not ran in ages. And using my injured ankle would just be an excuse. (or so I think) How?! should i go for my NAFA. Or should I go get a doctor's exemption.. but its still subject to case by case basis...If I do get exempted I wouldnt be exactly the happiest person alive... I mean I would be happy that I don't have to run 2.4.. but I wouldnt be happy cos I know that I am kinda handicap n I have given into my this "weakness" ... I don't like the thought that I have a so call physical weakness.. I'm too proud to admit I am hurt .. seriously.. And with that exemption there would be further grounds for my parents to not allow me to go diving or climbing or wake boarding (not like I have tried it la ), let alone kayaking.. sigh.. ok after going through a comprehensive thought process. (as seen here in this entry) . I have decided.. i WILL take my NAFA... means training have to start NOW!!!!!

Posted by jasmine at 1:12 PM

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Mysteries/Horrors of the working world

1) After staring at a screen for more than 1 hour everything looks the same
2) I can sleep for 10 hours the night before and wake up fresh but the moment I step into office I feel sleepy
3) Everyone marks their place by tissue paper
4) After a while everything being done is a mindless routine
5) People who have been in a desk job for more than 5 yrs develop this strange sense of humor
6) Everyone looks tired until knockoff time
7) Everyone simultaneously vanishes for at 1 pm sharp
8) Everyone seem to have developed this ability to tell when the Lawyers are coming out of their office and they will stop using msn or surfing the internet (its telepathy I tell u !!)
9) Everyone don’t seem to come on time but they all leave on time
10) Everyone on the train on in the evening seem happier than those in the morning.

Posted by jasmine at 11:50 AM

Monday, September 26, 2005

It strikes when you least expect it. Like a Phantom of the night, silent and quick. It comes onto you when you are the most unaware. No one is safe; it’s out there, waiting to devour its next unsuspecting victim.

It will feed on you, slowly and some times painfully. It will nibble on your flesh until you start begging for mercy. It spares no one. It will creep up on you silently. It will pounce on you when you look away.

Its called Boredom.
(and as u can see, I in a victim of sheer boredom.)

Posted by jasmine at 10:18 AM

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Posted by jasmine at 7:37 PM

Monday, September 19, 2005

I is starting work in one day time.... HOW !? haha

Posted by jasmine at 8:29 PM

Saturday, September 17, 2005

I had a nightmare again. It was about body parts. Lately I have been having alot of sleepless nights. If I don't wake up at 2 hour intervals I wake up in a cold sweat or wake up crying. I am not sure how long this can go on. I had this before. It lasted for like 1 month plus. After that I was a total wreck. I hope this phase don't last.

Do I think too much? Maybe I do. Is my mind constantly active. So much so that when I rest, it kicks up a fuss and give me bad dreams or weird thoughts? I've tried unconventional methods of making myself have peacful nights sleep. From alcohol to pills all I hve tired before but now I give up. Sleeping each night is a torture.

My job start in 4 days time. I am scared. I don't want to be thrown into unfamilr grounds again. I am afarid the same thing will happen again. I am dreading work.

Tody a close friend is flying off. I'll miss him. Seriously.

I have alot of things on my mind now. Alot. It seems like everything is no longer like it use to be. Everything is a routine. I just don't know how to say how I really feel without offending anyone. I'm just hanging on a thin line.

Posted by jasmine at 4:03 AM

Friday, September 16, 2005

Posted by jasmine at 1:53 PM

My hamsters gave birth bunch of new babies.. ok here is what happened.. I came back from JB shopping yesterday ( the story abt tat would be in another post) n i when to see my hamsters... cleo aka fatty2 was behaving funny and she looked like some number 8.. so i tried to feed her and she was super moody.. she bit me .. it wasn't tat hard la .. than later i went to sleep.. at 930 this morning i woke up n my mother said fatty gave birth.. ok by right my fattys are suppose to be 2 girls.. but only God knows how nature works.. so i thought they became proud parents of one baby.. but who knows... something so small can be so powerful... 2 hours later i realise she had 7 babies.. 7 .. can u believe it .. 7 !!! than later i found one baby outside the toilet.. (yes she gave birth in the toliet) apparently it had died... :( .. so as at now 2:30pm .. mr n mrs fatty have 6 babies .. now to start stressing abt their names ...

Posted by jasmine at 1:23 PM

Monday, September 12, 2005

Posted by jasmine at 9:20 PM

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

its on 20:16.. about 10 hours ago i took my CPA paper... in another 12 hours i would be getting ready for my company law paper... exams .. life of a student. that would be over for me soon.. SIP- Student Internship Program, is coming up.. the launch would be on the 19 of sept.. but til the 19 of sept what should I be doing? i got one week a head of me.. after 1130pm tomolo i would hve offically cleared all my papers... i would be going bugis shopping n spend my evening at home.. (sian).. friday would be being-a-maid day, saturday would be busy wedding day (no not mine) sunday would be super sian day and so would everyother day until 15 of sept.. JB shopping day and than nothing til the 19 sept... life is boring.. i am not looking for this weekend to end ... the moment saturday is over .. HELLO boring life for 4 more days.. no school, no friends, no LIFE !!! sigh....

Posted by jasmine at 7:16 PM

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Lazy Sat afternoon

What better way to spend your saturaday then sleep it away.. with my exams only 3 days more to go...its exactly what i should be doing (NOT).. I spent my morning at some SAFthingy- JID (or was it JDI? oh well...) family day, it was hot.. there were many children n they had an imitation PCK.. haha .. it was fun.. cos the people i met made it fun :D.. after that i went to SAFRA mount faber with rupen n this friend timo? ( i hope i got tat right)... U wouldn't believe how big it is.. it was huge.. it was like a shopping centre.. after like doing things for hours, I though it was already 3 plus.. but to my horror... it was only 1:43pm! its was super early.. i did so many things in one morning and it was only 1:43pm..damn i should cultivate a habit of waking up at 7am !!! I went to Tampines Mall to buy stuff for my hamster and I spent $20 in 15 mins .. thats alot to me !... anyway I went home had a bath.. gave rupen panadol and guess what ? my parents went to sleep, i went to sleep n he also went to sleep.. as i am writing this he is still sleeping in my living room and my parnets are asleep in their room... haha what a way to end the saturday

Posted by jasmine at 3:27 PM

Friday, September 02, 2005

Can u believe this i just got up! No I hve not been sleeping since last night but I had been sleeping since 3.30pm today. I am useless.. You don't need to console me or be nice, i know i am useless. Seriously, who sleeps at 2am last night n wake up at 9 am this morning, sit on her ass from 11-3 pm and than go back to sleep until 6 plus...hmmm.. i know who.. its... ME ! .. yes ME .. sitting on my ass is a very tiring job..

Posted by jasmine at 5:43 PM

Day One of my prep for exams.. OK i did start preparing eariler but I can't remember a thing i did.. i have 4 days to my final... i is thinking i would fail... :( how how.. its concentrating time..

Laziness is my biggest enemy now..

here is my exam diet...

1. Cup noodles.. Nissi Thai Tom Yam
2. Fish Crackers
3. Coke .. alot of coke
4. Red bull ! (it normaly cause me to not be able to sleep) damn potent
5. Pringles
6. Tuna n crackers
7. Basically anything High in Sodium n Sugar

Villa wellness here i come..

Posted by jasmine at 12:33 PM

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