Saturday, August 26, 2006
Hi, This is Me doing my weekly blogging.
I am still thinking about the entire lying thing still. I know its a werid way to start this post but its true. I am still thinking about it. I am not hystrical or super emo about it but I am wondering would it happen again. Its so werid cos I really dont want to spent the rest of my days dwelling on it. Forgiveness.. Have I forgiven? That is the question I am asking. But I am so scared that if I forget it would come back again, like the first time round. The first time I trusted and it came back. This round if I totally let go would it come back again. He can tell me he wouldnt la, but inside me I dont know. It bugs me at random times of the day. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
I spent my day baking cookies. The first batch was good but the rest were burnt. I feel like a failure. I really do. Yesterday and TOday. 2 days straight. Fail is every way. Oh well.
I dont know if I should blog this but I think I would. I hope none of the teachers in my school read this blog. The trainee teacher in my school is getting scary. I dont know if he likes me but he gives me tat impression. He will like keep messaging me, telling me good morning and good night and stuff like that. I dont entertain him cause I dont want people to talk. I try to be as normal as I can with him in school. When I was with Drama Queen last night he wouldnt stop messaging me and he called me straight after the event was over to ask how it was and that I should rest cos I am tired and stuff. It sounds like a friend being concern but at times he is overly concern. I dont know la. I am kinda not looking forward to seeing him on monday cos of all these. I hope Gay teacher would be around me most of the time than he wouldnt come and talk to me. He woke up late on friday and he asked me why I never wake him up. I asked him back Am I suppose to wake you? I dont have that kind of time... I hope the BBQ with wed he would leave me alone. I really hope he does. I think he knows I am attached. My friendster (he told me he took a peek at it) my table has Fudgie boy's photo and I am always talking about Fudgie boy. Maybe its just my imagination. Maybe that is how he is like when he makes new friends, clingy.....
I would have a long long lonely night tonight. I am kinda looking forward to it. Just my barcadi and work. I have church stuff and articles to write. I hope my parents are having fun.
Posted by jasmine at 4:46 PM