Wednesday, November 02, 2005
I'm very tired. I know this is the umpteen time I have saying this in my blog. I spent my sleeping hours last night cry, having nightmares and asking myself what I really want. What do I really want? This is what I am asking myself even at this point. I have came to the conculsion that everything that I am doing or have now, (my diploma, my lifestyle, my internship job, friends, family and relationship) is not what I want. Ok not to the extend that I will drop out of school, run away from home or even break off with my BF but more to the sense that I need something more. After my endless debt with myself, I came to my senses and realise I need to pray. And I found answers. But not the answers I was looking for. If I were to go on enjoying this life of mine I have to make some changes to the way it is. Namely, not being too easy going, be firm and determine. I can't always let people have their way and not voice out my discontent. Well at least that is what I have picked up over my Public Holiday break and my horribly long night, last night.
I have established one thing though, I am not a people's person. I am and I always will be. The only time I really enjoy is my quiet times in my room or one on one converstaions with my BF or my friends.
Bottom line of it all is that I need a change, I need air and I need to be firm on life.
Posted by jasmine at 11:34 AM