Sunday, June 05, 2005

something that i have learn this few days. yes i know what is my problem. just today i had another emo attack. the 3rd one this week. i literally cry myself to sleep. cry abt wat. i don't know. i am drowning . drowning in my own self pity. i have giving up trying to analyse the problem and the cause. since i am so depressed, i should just get a solution. thats what i did today. after so long, i finally manage to find the courage to go up for prayer. it was no immediate solution but i am sure it is the beginning. i told myself to do things i enjoy. so i went for lunch with jon and liang and they keep me laughing. those two clowns never fail to make me laugh. than i met rupen later.his presence is theraputic. seriously. just seeing him makes me feel all better. i know i have not been the perfect gf for the past 2 weeks. feel kinda bad that i have been pestering and irritating. my lack of control over my pitiful thoughts should never be an excuse to my childish behavior.

where is the jasmine that is so emtionally stable? where is the jasmine who can face any kind of shit?where is the jasmine that is always so happy and cheery? i have became such a depress bitch.. literally.. y? i also don;t know.. but what i knoe its that it has to STOP. no more. enough self pity and whinning. enough childish cries. enough enough. i need to pick myself up again.

i WILL pick myself up again.