Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Sometimes I really wonder is it because of my good nature that result in people taking advantage of me or am I just a push over. I know alot of time I seem "naive" or quiet or well, having no opinion ... I choose not to. I choose to remain this way.. Y? simply cos I feel uncomfortable in that particular circumstance or just because I don't want to further aggarvate the situation. For those who know me really well, they would know that although I choose to remain slient most of the time, I do show my temper or colours when the need arise. And when I do, its not a pretty sight...
Things that have been happening around me and to me have got me thinking... Should I "minimise" my good nature and start to be more "fierce" ... I don't know.. Some times I want to do that but... I choose not to again.. I rather be treated badly and not hurt people ... I rather be the one getting hurt... Its dumb of me but some how I am like that... I know that when I get upset alot fo things will happen..
I am so tired. I really am... Of all the things I hear and things that have been said... I must say my behavior towards him today was rather extrodinary... Actually I did not want to lose my temper or get angry with him.. But .. I think its time I did... You have no idea how many times the things you said to me almost made me cry... But I chose not to react.. I told myself over time you will get to know me better... Over time U will see why I choose to behave like that... But when the things you said today hurt me ... I thought of something someone told me before... She said that somethings you have to show your colours if not people will continue hurting you... I want to spend forever with you and I know that this cannot go on forever.. I cannot always get pissed with you and not say so... So well.. i chose to get upset today cos... just want you know that although i really love you... sometimes I can't "tahan" the stuff u say or do... I know you are like that .. and i keep telling myself that.. but everyone has to learn... although i'm super pissed with you it does not mean I dont love k... i still do k.. and i always will....
Posted by jasmine at 11:35 PM