Tuesday, September 07, 2004
English definitions
>********************
>
>Dictionary:
>A place where success comes before work.
>
>Classic:
>A book which people praise, but do not read.
>
>Lecture:
>An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecture to the
>notes
>of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
>
>Conference:
>The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
>
>Conference Room:
>A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later
>on.
>
>Committee:
>Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
>can be done together.
>
>Boss:
>Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
>
>Office:
>A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
>
>Yawn:
>The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.
>
>Smile:
>A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
>
>Tears:
>The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine
>water power...
>
>Compromise:
>The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the
>biggest piece.
>
>Experience:
>The name men give to their mistakes.
>
>Atom bomb:
>An invention to end all inventions.
>
>Philosopher:
>A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
>
>Opportunist:
>A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
>
>Optimist:
>A person who, while falling from Eiffel Tower, says midway "See, I am not
>injured yet."
>
>Cigarette:
>A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the
>other.
>
>Miser:
>A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
>
>Father:
>A banker provided by nature.
>
>Criminal:
>A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
>
>Politician:
>One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
>
>Doctor:
>A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
>
>Etc:
>A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Posted by jasmine at 5:56 PM