Tuesday, August 24, 2004

The first thing that hit me when i entered the hall was the stillness in the air. It was dulled coloured and cold. Although the room was filled to the brim with people, there was still this feeling of lonliness there. Some how, I felt I was all alone. I stood at a corner of the room and looked around trying to register my surroundings. All round me were people of all ages, races and sizes. Some were sobbing, others were just standing there and staring into space as if they did not know what they were doing here. I closed my eyes and tried to forget where I was, than it all happened again.

The chapel was dim and cold. Although the aircon was not on, the air was chilly. At the far end of the room I could hear the chants of the monks. My cousin was standing beside me. She looked as though this was all a big joke. I don't blame her, she was only 7 then. My mother no where near me. She was standing at the first pew. From where I stood I could only see her back, some how I knew mummy was different. The three days of mourning had taken its toll on her. She looked haggard and weak. I wanted so much to run over and hug her and tell her its ok, but before I could do that, the coffin was lifted. Whats going on I thought. I was too afraid to ask, so I just followed. We walked down this dimly lited passage way. To me, it was the longest walk of my life. Suddenly we stopped. I looked up. Where are we now? What are they doing to "ma-ma"? I tried to look but i couldn't, the people around me were too tall. I held on to my younger brother. Then I heard a cry that i would never forget for the rest of my life. " Don't take away my mother!! Where are you taking her!!" These ten words were the most painful words I had ever and will ever hear in my life. Each time I close my eyes I hear them echoing through my head. The pain, the sorrow... nothing that you can comprehen until it really happens.

I heard that cry again today. It broke my heart, it tore open the wound that was suppose to be healed. Suddenly, the pain that was once hidden all came out again when I heard her cry.
"Mummy, Mummy. I want my Mummy" NO !! why is this happening again. I felt the anger, the hurt and the sorrow rushing through my viens. I wanted to run over to hug her, I wanted to help but I couldn't....................





Posted by jasmine at 9:00 PM